A dream I had on 31 January 2011 about 4:50 the morning.
I dreamed that I was taking a walk while I was talking to God, I past a well known creek and there were old buildings that I've never seen there before. It looked like big storing places and businesses that went bankrupt. I turned in there to have a better look.
By a corner at one of the buildings, there was a police officer that was arresting a man. I was curious but kept walking. Further on, past the building I realized that it was a dead end. I decided to turn around and head home because it was getting dark. At the corner where the arrest is taking place, was an old man. The old man started speaking to me, telling me how negligent the officer was because the suspect will escape. I thought to myself but how can the old man be so negative, the suspect doesn't even look harmful. But I understand that there was trouble between race and they didn't trust each other (the police and suspect was the same race and it felt to me they trusted each other but the old man wasn't the same race and did not trust them). Then suddenly the suspect grabbed the gun from the police officer who was leaning forward in the police vehicle. I thought that the suspect is going to tell the officer and old man to let him go. I didn't want to have any part of it and turn around to walk away. The suspect then started to shoot; he killed the officer and the old man. I started to run but stopped when I realized I'm running towards the dead end. I turn back and saw the suspect with the gun pointing at me. I could see that he didn't want to shoot me but he can't trust anyone because of the old man who made a big deal of a small offense. The suspect was panicking over the situation he just made it worse by shooting people; he had a fear for jail that is convincing him to shoot. I told him that he don't have to worry I will not recognize him, I then turn around to show him that I'm not looking at him to recognize him later.
The gun went off and the bullet went through my upper leg, I then fell on the ground. I thought, well, I will survive it, it is not a deadly wound. I looked towards him, thinking he will run away but he started shooting again but not looking at me or aim as if he didn't really want to shoot me. I felt the bullets ripping through my kidneys, liver and the rest of my organs. I then realized that a doctor won't be able to save me even if he was at the scene. I told the suspect to shoot me through the head because if the adrenaline works out I'm going to have a painful death. Then he asked me "may I" I said yes (I could hear in his voice that he had regret). He put the gun to my head and pulls the trigger.
Everything went dark for 2 seconds and then I saw a very bright light. It was like I was flouting above the clouds. While I was floating down slowly my life run through my head, I never got married, I never had a nice car or house, never a good job or wealth and I couldn't even remember one day I was actually happy. The more I went down the more I felt a presence of Love and it was getting stronger. I saw a bed on a big green lawn and landed next to it. About that time, my life on earth didn't bother me anymore because I was overwhelmed by this Love. In the bed was an old Man with PJ's on that I recognized as God and there was Someone next to Him. God then turned towards me and said "you don't have to worry anymore; here We do what We want". God was glowing of the most Love that I can't explain. While He was saying that, I grabbed His arm and held tightly. I realized that I was six years old again and had no needs just the Love of my Father.
I started to wake up and realized the hate I have for myself, the more I gained consciousness the more I realized I was in the presence of the God almighty. I saw the sins I haven't repented yet, like swearing a person in my mind that angered me and small stuff that we don't recognize as sin anymore. The disgust feeling I had for myself was the same as a woman will feel for a rapist. I just wanted to go back to that presence far away from this sin. The moment you exit God's presence, I guess then you see things the way God see it. One sin isn't bigger then the other. God hate sin but He will always Love us.
There is nowhere I have felt Love like that, like in the presence of God. In the beginning of the dream I was speaking to God while I was walking, so I had more compassion when I faced my enemy. Even to the point of death, I did not hate my enemy. I was the same race as the old man and would have teamed up with him if I didn't have a strong relationship with God. I felt that God just want me to spread that Love that God have for us. To tell the world that God understand how you feel and that it is why He send His Son. For us to live with that Love, treat each other with that Love and let's be the least and stop racism from our side.
