God’s plan for me:
When I was young, I never wanted to go to church because I felt that I was in a cage, had to sit still and not move. When I was in grade 6 we moved to small town where we attended the a church. One Sunday morning, I felt the presence of Jesus Christ and from there on I wanted to know God more.
While I was growing up from the age 11, there were things trying to stop me to know God. Now I know that since I gave my heart to Jesus I have entered a spiritual battle ground. Just when I met the right people, situations will change and I will end up at the wrong crowd. But I have kept Jesus in my heart and wanted to get out of the bad crowd with all I got.
A few years after I was finished with school, I went to an other church. If I went to church, I would prefer to sit at the back to hide because of all the bad experiences I had with people. That day we where a bit late and the only spot open were in front. I wanted to go home but my parents insisted we stay. A new youth preacher started there and he was preaching at the church service that morning. The moment he noticed me he started to prophecy and said that I will lead the youth on an internationally base one day. I felt the presence of God there and asked God how I will do that? Since I stayed in a small town in South Africa, my childhood have change to being an "adult". I have outgrown children before I should have because of situations that have changed me. I didn’t have anything in common with teenagers, so why me? There was no reply.
I was pressured from a young age to have older friends that were out of school. Thy have change my mindset over everything and were very negative over life. Thy have told me that its normal to do all the things that was against my values like smoking, drinking and all the wrong things a child of God shouldn’t do. It took some time but later I have given up on all my morels. In away it made me to build a wall between me and God, and the people my age. From then, teenagers where avoiding me and little children use to tease me and run away because I always had this anger face on. Then from the day of the prophecy, things change. Teenagers and children wanted to be around me all the time. In the beginning I didn’t even know what to do. Then I realized, I was jealous of young people from my childhood, thy were free and enjoyed life and I was bound. I missed out on a childhood and was angry at the world. I thought back to the day I gave my heart to Jesus in grate 6 the age 11 and I have seen the spiritual battle I was in. before that I had a normal childhood; little thing use to make me exited; I use to smile and laugh; played in the mud; had toys. This is a common thing child and teenagers are bounded by today because of the big influence the media have. When I was growing up the media didn’t have that big influence but my situation did. So please young people, do yourself a favor and stay young for as long as you can and not on the world’s standards but on God’s standards. Every one has that voice that screams don’t do this; please listen to your conscience. From the outside people looks fine that is bound by sin, but the inside it is ripping apart.
I didn’t know what I will be doing with my calling God put on my life. Yes a youth leader, but how, I am not leader material. We must know when God call us then God take the weak to show how strong He is. So this is not my calling it is God’s calling and I am just the instrument in His Hands.
My musician vision started:
One day, before a church conference, the lady that was leading the choir wanted a person who can play lead electrical guitar for her. Then my sister told them that I can play and she will ask me. I never thought that I’ll ever play on stage and those days it was only a hobby to do when I didn’t have anything better to do. So I went to try, although I wasn’t very good at that time. I went for the practice and it was a nightmare. I couldn’t read or play even half of the chords they were playing. So I prayed and ask God; if You want me to play, then I will. Even though I didn’t have a good relationship with God I thought I’ll try. My life was a big mess and I had a lot of sin, I didn’t even think God will even hear my prayer. After practice I told them I need the chords to practice, that was the Wednesday. The person who was playing the piano told me he will have it ready by Thursday but something came up and he couldn’t bring it to me. Well, the Sunday came and I still didn’t have any chords. Before the service was starting, some of the people who saw I was at practice told my sister that I shouldn't play because I never attended the church. Then they went to the pastor’s wife and told her the same. Well I didn’t practice so I was relived. But then the pastor’s wife started crying and said she had a vision of God that I should play. Then I went to the prayer room before the service and could stop stressing, all I could think about was that I didn’t know even one song. So we walk up the stage and started playing… I of course, acted like I was playing but had a wonderful experience with God.
After a few weeks I felt eager to play again, I wanted that feeling again. I played in a couple of churches and youth after that but just keep on making mistakes and feel nervous. But there is one thing that keeps me going… I don’t do this for myself or anyone else but for God. This vision in my heart won’t stop and this blog-site is built on faith, I will be an instrument in God’s hands.
